whataday.

wow. so this is what growing up really feels like. This was the most interesting,painful,amazing,terrible,WONDERFUL day. I felt alot of pain today. the words "youre ruining my life and i dont want to talk" cut way deeper than it was supposed to. but i went to my party, i spent time with the most caring amazing people in my life and i had fun:) you guys really made my birthday special. i figured out im going to be okay. and i wasted my time trying to pretend we could end this right. because YOURE not a right person anymore. we both changed. the people we used to be might have worked this out but i got stronger and smarter thanks to my own "personal suns" and you became a....well i hate to say this but a bitch. sorry i cussed people. i promise i never will again but thats the truth. i love my family and they are the ONLY ones i rely on and trust with all my heart. You guys are so sweet and amazing and you make me forget my worries. thanks for making this birthday the best yet.

and amanda im wearing the earings and i hate you very much:)

breathe.

1.)okay,i went into this expecting a okay, i can do that. or NO WAY *beep* but not a "i really miss you and id be cool with being your friend". woah. i got caught so off guard. i AM tempted to be your friend, sincerely, i miss you. but i can see the person i miss isnt really you at the moment. Youve changed and i realize i cant be friends with you at the moment. Im glad we're okay i got really tired of getting and giving dirty looks. You have to understand that im not ready, i cant trust you after that, and i really hope you ARE trying to be a better person; but right now its a no. im sorry, but my life without you has been good. im glad youre kinda sorta in it again but lets keep it like THAT for a while:)

2.)I MISS YOU. i miss you deeply. i miss the days where we would talk on the phone for hours and hours and my sisters would get mad and yell at me to get off the phone because it was bound to put a dent in the phone bill. I get really sad when you only talk to me to get help on your homework and really that isnt even talking.ugh. i just hate how we were best friends, i had to move. iloveyou though. you always make me laugh or used to at least and you give me the best advice. i just miss 6th grade! ugh. i wish i had a time machine.

sigh.

moving again. great. i really dont want to do this. once you get settled somewhere you have to relocate somewhere else. If you havent noticed by now, im not a really BIG fan of change whatsoever. I HATE these times where everyone struggles. I know i need to sacrifice things not needed for the better good, but it gets hard. ive grown so accostomed to these things. so option 1 (which im probably going to do) is suck it up and keep moving. This makes me stronger. option 2: is move in with amanda and become her adopted filipino sister:) hahahaha. just kidding.

<3 michelle
p.s. youre pretty insane yourself cousin.

conclusion.

im just a stupid, nerdy, not even close to pretty girl that no one wants to be friends with and i should stop bugging everyone by even trying.


nice.

getaclue.

dump the guy.

the end.