I try .

I hate how I'm always the mother freakin' friend who cares the most . I hate how I'm the one writing long letters on how important you are to me , and how I can't afford to lose you every single time . I hate being the one to listen to YOUR problems . I hate how when I ask you for a freakin' letter it takes so freakin' freakin' long for you to write back because you have "homework" that you dont really do , and when I finally get the letter , it's short . I hate trying to steer you in the right direction and you go the complete other way . I hate making all the effort to keep us as strong as we are . I hate the ridiculous arguments . I hate how sometimes you don't notice when it's obvious somethings wrong . I hate me . I hate how I care too much . I hate my nature to care more for everyone that comes my way . i hate being a caring person because it's frustrating . It's frustrating to care for someone so much and noticing how amazing someone is and reminding them daily knowing that they will never ever own up to how much you care . It's not their fault . Just nature I guess . I hate trying to tell you about this and you asking what I want you to do and ME not being able to tell you because I feel bad for hurting YOU and making you feel like a bad friend . I hate hurting just to avoid you hurting . Sometimes I hate being selfless I hate being caring . I just wanna be the friend for once that gets love poured on them by everyone that cares about them . I just wanna be you for a day . knowing daily that you're loved by me and everyone else . I wanna be the one recieving constant letters and i love yous . I wanna be the one that's beautiful and loved and confident . I wanna be the one thats wanted . Not the one giving you all these things sometimes .